the bigger picture.......

i really love my wood heater..... almost as much as i love food - almost.....

thinking about what to do with a chooky breast, pumpkin and potatoes.... maybe roast the veg.... and then something with the chicken... maybe marinade it..... maybe not....

i had it in my head today that i was going to type for quite some time this afternoon on this thing, but some of it has escaped me... most of it....

my short term memory is again taking a bit of a hit... so whilst i'm looking forward to the prospect of getting of these anti depressants completely, i am worried that my short term memory might go back to the way it was before i started on them, which means i wasn't trying to block something out, i was just getting bad short term memory... i dunno...

i'd so love for it to snow here this weekend. it's a cold weekend to begin with, but just don't know if it's quite cold enough for it to snow - i just want it to snow when i am at home, not when i'm at work cause it's a fair hike to come home just to see the snow, especially when i car pool half the way lol

i worked a day at site in melton on monday, helped install glass - double glazed units between 60-80kgs each..... hard work but i enjoyed it for the fact it gave me some more experience working on site... bit of variance in my job.

i've been thinking for a few weeks now that i'm getting a bit of silent treatment from someone on facebook... i probably shouldn't make a big deal about it... it's just a niggle at the back of my mind... facebook, at the end of the day, isn't life through and through, so if i'm feeling it, just deal with it, remove the potential problem and not have to worry any more... we'll see...

i want to have a nap, but i don't want to waste the day sleeping, but then i'm not doing much else.... and then i think about sleeping in front of the fire tonight, but then what if i don't sleep well and i am exhausted on my day off..... then i'll go back to work next week feeling worse....

and another bloody fricken cut/ulcer thing in my mouth today, i'm really having the worst luck with my mouth since i got back from portugal, a cut or a graze in there each week! i'm over it!!

i'm being very careful at the moment with my love life, or lack thereof, given that i'm working with less people around me... i've probably talked about this on here before but i'm doing it again so it reiterates in my brain that i do NOT need a relationship.... nor should i want one... if i'm feeling lonely, then i should call upon existing friends to catch up for drinks, or dinner, or even visit neighbour sharon at the shop.... a relationship is going to over fill the void and that's the reason i should avoid them

i've had a few new nice people chatting to me this week online, but i've always got this other thing at the back of my mind (back of my mind seems to be ever increasing in size...), that they're just trying to say the right things just to get a chance to meet me.... and then try to bed me... but it's not going to happen, most likely on either counts... so i second guess the things i write to them in case they stitch me up for leading them on.... but i suppose it is clear in my profile that i'm not looking for a relationship. and i do throw around some quotes to make sure they are reminded that it's not what i want.

yesterday was 3 months to go until my birthday... might make it a non event this year.... unless swannies get in grand final, then it'll be another big stressful day until the final siren has sounded...... damn me for being born at the end of september when these major sporting things are on lol

jon's turning 50 next week. have to think up a good present.... have to have money for a good present to start with lol i have 3 bills in line waiting for money to be thrown at them as soon as i get paid this week...

and now that it's tax time i'm hoping that i can get a decent refund to put the credit card back to a reasonable level, namely $0 owing lol then i have a better chance at getting ahead on things financially..... and only a few months left until this god awful fixed rate ends so i can save a bit of money on my weekly repayments...

it's all part of the bigger picture plan.... just the daily happenings on keeping my clutches on my own home for that little bit longer :-)

sometimes i think i shouldn't be on any of those chat sites as i'm probably making them all think i'm leading them on as i'm not about to meet them instantaneously..... chats and chatters come and go, but i always sit and stay.....