is life worth living?

"have you ever thought that life was not worth living?"

i've seen that question a few times pop up over the years...

and before you say it - no i'm not just being melodramatic about the slow cooker not being turned on until 3pm cause i forgot to turn it on at the powerpoint..... i was already on this train of thought about 5 minutes before i discovered the slow cooker was turned off still.....

i was considering, this afternoon, about what the point of life was.

get up in the morning, shower, work, eat dinner, bed, and weekends are get up in the morning, sometimes shower, eat, clean, light a fire, eat, clean and bed

interspersed with facebook entries, facebook games, dating websites and mobile app thingos, watching tv and paying bills...

the thing that i came up with was, what's the point of life if all i'm doing is sitting at home on weekends when i'm not spending long hard days at work to make money that disappears in mortgage, bills, expenses, food etc? is it really worth the effort? what's the point of life?

the thing that people need to realise when they ask the question "have you ever thought that life was not worth living?" is that by answering "yes" does not automatically mean that one wants to commit suicide.

i certainly don't - i don't like getting a needle in my arm for blood tests, anaesthesia etc, so what the hell would i be thinking to commit suicide, that would be like having a big needle, a really really big needle that hurts even more than it normally does! no thank you!

i think it just comes down to boredom. well for me it does.

yes i love my home, i love my chooks, i love my fire - there's lots of things i love about my life.

but when i'm bored - i get annoyed with life for being so boring - it really turns up like the flick of a switch.

which brings me to today.

another weekend sitting at home. admittedly i'm sick, or at least recovering from being sick.

maybe i've just been at home too much this week from having days off with sick.

maybe sick and me are being too good of friends.

rather - sick is getting the wrong impression from me, and i've never liked sick in the first place. but telling sick you don't like it and to go away cause it makes life boring, doesn't seem to do the trick.

instead, sick costs me more money by demanding drugs to wean itself off my body.

everything seems to come down to money.

i'd love to do things on the weekends or on days off from work. go for drives (diesel costs money), go shopping (shopping costs money), go on a weekend getaway (diesel costs money and trains/planes/boats cost money, and hotels cost money), develop more of my gardens (plants and dirt cost money - good dirt anyway), be sociable at the pub (transport and alcohol cost money)

so i best stick to the free things in life. light a fire, keep warm, write a blog, eat food (which costed money but i stretch out for as long as i possibly can), watch dvds (which were purchased when money issues were not an issue at all)

damn you, money and sick - you've got these friendships round the wrong way.

money should be my best friend and sick should be disappearing just as quickly as the money does at the moment!

and don't get me started on jaw. that's just a schizophrenic lunatic that i wish would stop giving me a hard time with it's split personalities.....

so yes, sometimes i do think life isn't worth living, but that's just a part of life itself! gotta deal with it, suck it up and get on with the rest of life......