can someone just call me and offer me a good paying job now?
it doesn't really take all that long for job hunting to become a depressing experience.
dad called me last night cause mum told him i was starting to look for another job... he said that they would be happy to help me financially with everyday living expenses, but not really able to help with paying the mortgage. that's fair enough.
and then he started again with suggesting i should sell up from here and move back in to their place and do some courses/qual's in something i want to do....
selling up and moving back in with my parents isn't exactly going to spell out what the magically thing is that i actually want to do...
if i sell my home, then that's it, i would class that as 'giving up', admitting defeat, whatever negative connotation there could be, i would be thinking and feeling it.
all well and good for him to also advise that there are plenty of jobs in qld and n.t. but i don't think i could manage living in a warm/hot/humid climate all year round. i love the cold weather too much...
at least he didn't try to convince me to move to portugal... not yet anyway.....
i know he's just trying to help. but having that conversation really pushed me close to having an anxiety attack over the stress of everything.... i managed to steer clear of it though, thankfully.
i couldn't possibly live with my parents for longer than a week cause i would then have the feeling that i've given up on a whole half of my life, and would feel the same as if i had someone move in and rent the other room again... i just can't handle living with people....
i love my home... i don't want to sell it. i may not have the choice if i leave it longer... it's just all a bit too confusing thinking about all these things...
i just want stability. it's all i ever wanted. and a hug once in a while.
i would have applied for close to 20 jobs now in the last couple of days, 1 of them surely must be thinking about hiring me to do something...
*sigh*
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